The Nerd Affair

I wish I wasn’t myself sometimes. The feeling of having no emotions just seems like a better way to live. If only I could let things go easily, the slightest of things, I wouldn’t feel this way all the time. 

I hate it. Not to have enough control over the amount of emotions I put into something. It’s always either absolutely ignoring something or pouring my whole heart out. This isn’t even real but it feels so real to me. I cried. It’s been 2 days (or even 3, I’ve lost count) of having a heavy heart for something that isn’t even my life.

I feel so much for this and I think I should quit but something tells me to press on. 

Being left out is something that I constantly feel, whether it’s true or it isn’t. I need to stop feeling this way before I jump off a building and the world doesn’t even care.

My emotions are uncalled for and I can’t tell anyone about it before it seems too absurd. Everyone will scoff at me for being this insane to something that isn’t real at all. 

I just wish it would stop hurting so much.